Welcome to heaven Grandpa 

I am a little unsteady.

You were the reason I got interested in our family tree. You have passed on your whit, ambition to learn, humour and intelligence. I will never forget you, you will be on my mind constently. You’re spirit and courage will help me get through this hard time,  and press on. Remaining focused in my studies and my future. 

I love you Grump.  

Advertisements

Halloween

I know I know, it’s not even October yet, but gee to I ever love haloween.  It’s not even the scart stuff it’s the old kids movies like Charlie Brown and the pumpkin patch, the haloween town series, Casper, hocus pocus and many more. There is just something about halloween that my heart love, actually everything about halloween. I love dressing up, last year I was an awsome skeleton with the best face paint ever. I love decorating and see all the kids trick or treating. 

I love all of the mythical stories about all sorts of creatures and witches. 


What are you favourite things about haloween? 

Sensitive. 

Working on not being so sensitive is extremely hard. I am a blubbering mess usually even when angry when it comes to any kind of conflict.  I do believe being sensitive is a good trait to have, but sometimes I can’t get my point across correctly, or I hide in a shell because of my teary eyes during any kind of conflict. Even if it’s not conflict; watching a show, seeing a cute old couple holding hands… 

Up until 2 years ago, I never cried at a single thing, in a matter of fact I used to have to force myself to cry or else I was a monster. Seeing my mother unconscious on the floor, hearing she has had a heart attack, even a funeral for someone I knew. 

But not now, now the tears flow like a steady river. 

I’ve been trying techniques like; 

  • Thinking about something else 
  • Looking at something distracted 
  • Telling myself to buck up 

When I become a paralegal, I need to be able to keep myself together. When I get into arguments with people close to me, I need to be able to display my true emotion and get my words out right.  Crying does not mean I am sad, I am still mad at you 

Silence speaks the truth.

When there is no noise, my mind creates instead. 

Especially going through the hard time that I seem to walking through right now, quiet is the worst. When I am laying in bed at night my mind thinks of the scariest demons and goes into the darkest places. The hardest part is when there is a room full of people, and silence occurs, I get so exhausted battling the monsters in my own head.