I hope you start to heal, I can see it on your face the pain you feel. You are not alone in this mess, just another one of those tests. It takes courage and it takes strength to face. It’s time to stop beating yourself up, starting building yourself up. Living in the past is effecting your future. If this weight your holding is to much to carry, as for a hand I know it’s scary. You will find a peace of mind, a relief, a rest someone else can also take on this test. Don’t be ashamed, we are all the same. Everyone has demons in their brains.

Tears are medicine, don’t be afraid to let them fall. You should know those tools, you have them all. You will find what gets your heart beating again, because you are worth it, you are beautiful and you deserve it. Things happen for a reason, even those bad things, they make you stronger. As you walk your journey you will realize you are right where you are ment to be, you just have to open your heart and you will see. “The strength was always inside of me”.



Some people don’t realize that just because we arnt in a whole in the ground and dont “look like” we have an illness doesn’t mean it’s all gone away.

We try, we try very hard everyday to shake, the demons and most of the anxiety away. We still have our bad times, and some times even worse then that. We just get up and give ourselves a pat.. we don’t let ourselves constantly become victims again we become victors again…

I beleive in you as I beleive in me, you can rise again and stop sinking in the sea. Reach up, and out and inside yourselves beleive that there is better for yourselve. Everyone has there days when they feel in a haze, don’t let it get the best of the best you.

Don’t stop beleive. You’ve got a reason to live again.

Remember we may have once been victims but now we are victors!

Time has pasted.

The best thing I think I have ever done is almost, literally forgot about the past trauma and past bullshit. I just don’t let my mind go back there, its taken me about 7 years to train my brain not to relive the demons. Sometimes I get into a dark place, and my mind doesn’t know who to blame and it tries to go back there. It’s a fight to push my self to stay away from the past, because it doesn’t help me, it has only ever held me back and made things worse. I used to blame every bad mistake, every bad decision on the year behind me because it seemed easier to deal with pity then what was right in front of me. Through my battle with addiction, through my on-going battle with mental health the past has always played games with me. I’ve just decided to stop putting blame on things that happened years ago, its merely an excuse.

I’ve changed so much for the better because I’ve moved on and considered my past a learning curve, a lesson and what has shaped me today. NOT an anchor that is tied to my foot and drowns me. WE can only be healthy today, by putting the past away and remembering the good times, good people and lessons learned.

All on you

There is no change, unless you choose. Sink or swim, either way its you that will win or lose.  When it comes down to it, i am a strong believer in the ability to change, get better and move on BUT it all starts with you!

I have made tremendous changes in my life. I have battened the hatches and suffered through many long therapy talks that once wouldn’t have not happen, because i would have never stepped foot in that office. I decided that i control my own future and i want to feel better, i had to make choice to get better. I had to take medication at the start and gave up about a million times, but i did it, I’ve even been medication free for about 2 years. Don’t get me wrong though, there are many many days i still struggle, and need to stay in bed, or make up for my impulsive decisions, and explain to loved ones that i don’t really want to push them away.

It’s always going to be a work in progress, there would be no progress if i didn’t decide that my happiness and my life was worth the work. I didn’t do all this work for nothing, and i believe everyday ends and everyday gets betters. Keep keeping on, and don’t be afraid to ask for support when needed or sleep all day if you need to be refreshed.


Essential life. 

My life with essential oils has grown very strong since I first posted about it. I am even a monthly product buyer to get extra points.  I’ve gone from 2 oils to 10 oils or so and I still have a list of them I want. 

They have truly changed my life from allergies to sleep to having more energy and getting rid of stress. 

I take a shot of lemon pepermint and lavender to clear my allergies. Serenity to sleep, which is amazing. I’ve used the peace and cheer rollerballs to deal with my moods. Grapefruit, lemon and smart and sassy in my drinks for food craving. 

LOVE LOVE ESSENTIAL OILS. Such a great choice to start using them. 
#essentialoils #oils #serenity 

What the heart wants 

In regards to my career this past months I really had to dig deep ad decide if I want to live lavishly, not minding whay I do or live comfortably and LOVE WHAT I DO. Its so important to be happy, stressfree and enjoy waking up and heading to work. There are so many miserable people out there that hate there jobs, there bosses, doesn’t challenge them enough or is just plain boring. YOU CREATE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS! 

Its save to say my heart is a muscle the size of my fist, and I’ll keep loving, keep laughing and carry on.. Loving what I do. 

#mentalhealth #depression #illness #life 

Pains and Gains. 

Havnt written in, way to long. Finishing my semester, killing it at placement and looking for a job has been keeping me busy and when not busy in bed dreaming  

Trying to get a 4.0, make connections and be the top dog in a highly competitive world is busy.. hard.. lonely.. motivating.. and when the world knocks you down man do you feel like taking a nap, calling it quits. 

I am sure every 23 year old or you know any age really feels like they are never going to get where they want to be, never going to have an extra dollar after paying the bill, oh and eating and having a phone so you know those company’s/bussiness’s out there can get a hold of you when you get the jobs 50 people applied for. 

Work through all the pressure, work through all the stress and always get stronger, better, smarter. You know I’ve noticed how much it revolves around the connections and the people you know. Go out there volunteer, get to know people. 

Goal is to Never have to introduce yourself! 

Healthy what is it? 

What’s your healthy? What does healthy mean to you? 

Everyone seems to have a differant definition of what healthy is, and how to become healthy. There are even some people that judge others based on what their healthy looks like.. 

For me; healthy starts inside yourself and shines through youre body. 

For me;healthy is eating a balanced diet, treat yourself or you will be miserable. Don’t be afraid to sit on the curb and eat a poutine. 

For me;healthy is exercising but having fun doing so, dance parties walking in the beach. 

For me;healthy is having a happy, content, stable mental state. Even if that means crying at the movie you’ve seen a million times or an episode of Ellen.  

For me;healthy means having relationships that are positive, people that make you laugh and bring out the best in you. 

For me;healthy is being proud, confident and believing in yourself. Pushing yourself to be better, whatever that is even if it’s just waking up on time for the 3rd day in a row. 

Everybody’s healthy is differant. Healthy leads to YOUR happiness don’t let anyone define youre HEALTHY. 


Hey guys, and gals I am back. I’ve been so busy with school, placement and family. Just wanted to leave a little blurb, as I reflect on the week. 

You used to build me up, the only person I could count on. I thought forever you were the one that dragged me out of the darkness, all along it was me. Now that I’ve gotten my own flashlight and know how to navigate better then anyone. Now that I am stronger then ever, I’ve noticed maybe I was saving you the whole time. You drag me down, beat me up and take me for granted these days… it’s my fault as I realize I’ve let you do this the whole time. Time, passes and I don’t know how long this will last. I am stronger and more confident then ever, I know this will kill you.. murder, but I can’t watch my heart bleed.

The only thing keeping me around is love, I love you.. sadly I don’t like you anymore. You’ve changed or maybe I was just to blind to see it before. You looked like superman in cape, you were just a villain looking for an escape. Maybe I should have looked deeper then your face. 

#love #breakme #run