What is love?

Its like fighting myself.
What a learnt when I grew up.
What sacrifices do you make for love, when is moving on necesary even though it’s killing you.
Feeling stuck, and uncertain of which direction to go. Even though you’ve always felt like this. My constant identity issues, have me believe that I am never going to find myself.  The quote does say love yourself before you can love anyone else. What is that magical feeling of love people talk about? Is it real? Do people convince themselves that it’s a fairytale because everyone loves fairytales. It’s so important these days to be in a perfect relationship. Once it’s a bit damaged, it just gets broken. So what’s the point anyways. 
Sometimes I think I’ll never be as strong as I am now.
Maybe I should take the risk.
I just can’t deal with falling over the edge, even though I am always looking down. 
Will I ever have the answers?
What is love anyways…

Advertisements

Puzzle Piece.

The day I became an aunt was the best day of my life..
The day my nephew at 2 years old was diagnosed with low spectrum autism was the day I learned how to love unconditionally.

The Warrior
As I support my sister(best friend) through the hardest and most emotional days of her life. I sat on the side lines and realized, what a warrior she was. She has the most patience, strength, passion and tolerance that I’ve ever seen. 

As I watch my nephew struggle with communication and sensory challenges my heart grows stronger. Its sad sometimes when you see him in the midst of a behaviour that he cannot control, at this time giving him a full pressure hug which always seems to make him feel better. He is a learning so much these days, works so hard on his speech. Everyone is always trying to teach him and help him learn.  I consider myself more of the fun aunt.  His smile lights up my day, as well as his laugh he is the funniest little boy a I know. His mass of ginger hair bouncing with tons of curls blowing the wind, driving in the car with his window down is his favourite lately. This journey is so exciting for me, I know nothing about autism, I’ve gone to his meetings and listen to everyone talking about it, my knowledge is growing. To me most of the time I don’t see him as having autism, I just seen him as his little boy who has to give a lot more effort daily, who laughs at the best and more inappropriate times. I will forever be there for him, as he saves my life everyday…

I’ve learned to love unconditionally.

BPD.

I am a warrior, who excels at fighting her own mind. I often dwell in the darkness, because I am a little weaker sometimes. It take a lot more strength to over come obstacles these days, some say get over it and just be happy. For some it’s not that easy, it’s like untangling a web that is all interconnected with no start and no end. Some days I am at a high, forever greatful to feel alive. Roller coasters are normal for me. I still persevere and roll on, see some light at the end of every

Continue reading “BPD.”