#Bellletstalk 

This is a day to encourage people to talk and to listen. Most importantly open up, don’t be afraid to be yourself. I hope people take the time to read what people share today, read it with an open mind with no judgment. 

For us the poeple who live with mental illness everyday.  Fighting our demons in our heads,  in the mirrors, in the media, in our familis,  communities and friendship. It’s time to take a stand, we are not our illness our illness may be a big part of us but it does not define us. 

I have been fighting the great battle of Borderline Personality Disorder and have been since I was 13 years old. Which is a hard pill to swallow and I mean it, the amount of medication I was put on was disgusting. Some medications do help, and I support the people that are trying them out because sometimes our heads need a little help. I want to clap my hands for being med free for 2 years I worked steady on my Dialectical Behaviour Therepy and it has been so helpful. It look me along time to work on it at first I fought it, now I couldn’t be more stable and happier. It’s and constant work in progress… 

Don’t anyone feel the battle has beaten them, sleep it off and keep fighting back. 

You can do it! 

Id like to thank the people that support me; 

My sisters that tell me I am the strongest person they know, they are so proud of me. My parents that love me unconditionally and are there for me no matter what. Brian for showing me how to trust someone, and to be loved and treated like any women should be. I thank you for everything that you do for me. Thanking the people that support you the most is an important thing you can do. Sometime it’s not easy helping me out and having to deal with my unstable emotions and impulsive decisions. 

#bellletstalk #bpd #fighter #mentalhealth 

I’ve been busy. 

I’ve had some hard times, hard times few understand.  Lately I’ve been wiping my own tears and holding my own hand. It’s crazy when you try to explain it, it sounds insane and… you give up. You hear the same old, I’ve been busy… 

Let’s just avoid the awkward conversation and skip the are you okays. Let’s just visit another day.. 

I’ve just go to work on me and toughen up. 

#busy #sorryitry #mentalhealth

Fun Facts.

WHO KNEW?

A group of unicorns is called a blessing.

Twelve or more cows are known as a flink.

A group of frogs is called an army.

A group of rhinos is called a crash

If the average night’s sleep is eight hours (ie one third of a day), one sleeps for one third of one’s life. If you live, say, 75 years, that’s 25 years asleep, or 9,125 days.

It turns out though that hair and fur are chemically indistinguishable, both made up of keratin. The argument that is often cited as to why there must be a difference is that human hair will just keep growing forever, while most animal “fur” stops at a set length.

Guinness World Records says the oldest living person verified by original proof of birth is Misao Okawa, a 115-year-old Japanese woman. The oldest verified age was 122 years and 164 days: Jeanne Calment of France, who died in 1997.

 

 

Thank you GOOGLE for providing me with my fun for the day.

No phone zone. 

So every since I’ve started into my 3rd semester of school I’ve decided to have a no phone zone. Which is after school, after homework and after dinner I have an hour and a half without any technology.  No phone, laptop or tv. I’ve been finding it helping my strain of my eyes of coarse and my mental health. I usually do things like;

  • Colour in a colouring book. 
  • Read a book, an actual book made of paper. 
  • Write on actual paper. 
  • Stretch and do a little yoga. 
  • Go for a walk. 
  • Make a cooking recipe that I usually wouldn’t because I have the excuse of no time. 
  • Go visit a family member I have not seen in awhile, this Christmas everyone in my family pretty much said oh we have seen you in ages. And this is totally unlike me I am a big family gal. 

Sometimes I find it a little hard to pack the technology all away but I commit myself to and I feel better.  In the future the time span may get longer and longer.

Enjoy the simple things in life. 
#nophone #notechnology

Being a team member. 

Sports.. I believe that every individual should try and join a sports teams whether it’s swimming, hockey or high jump. As you’ve read in my previous blog posts I havnt had the best childhood and young adulthood but… some of my most fondest charished memories are being on the many sports teams in school and independantly. It really doesn’t even need to be a sport even chess club or math club, antrying where there is a group on people getting together to do something they love. 

Even if you are not the most popular, have the most friends and wearing the latest trends being on a sports team makes you feel like your apart of something. 

I played hockey on an all girls traveling team, my father often was the trainer and always drove myself and sometimes a team mates to games. It was that bonding alone that has shaped me into the person I am today. When you get out on the ice you forgot all the demons, all the hard times… you let go and have fun, you may even get a little anger out. 

I made friends, even though some didn’t carry on much outside of the sport but some did. And the ones that didn’t still didn’t bother me, I felt apart of something being on a team. Learned about acceptance, teamwork, hard work, helping others and many other postive things. I also played sports in elementary school and high school but nothing beats my hockey teams. 

A few years worth of memories and laughs, coaches I will never forget and games I replay in my head. 

Is this the end or just a continuation.  

I lay here looking at the begging of the rage of new years resolutions, and think that most of them are not stuck to. As well as who says you can’t begin your path in July.  So I sit here and remind myself that there are alot of things that should just stay the same, that I should keep on rockin and some things that I should improve or dedicated more time to. 

  1. LET’S JUST GIVE MYSELF A HUGE PAT ON THE BACK. I have completed my first year of college, which was a rocky, sloppy road. I not only completed it i freaking rocked it. In which I have never committed myself to anything like this due to my unstable mental health! So codos to me.
  2. I am greatful for plenty of things this year,  the biggest one being the support of my father, step-mother and my boyfriend. 
  3. I had 2 things happen to me this year that have changed me forever and has made me realize my strength. Losing a dear family friend and my grandfather within a few months of one another.

Things I want to work on in 2017:

  • Eat better! Which is probably on everyone’s list. 
  • Be nicer to myself.  
  • Dress better.
  • Learn more recipes. 
  • Complete my year of school with great grades. 
  • Hangout with my family as much as I can. 
  • Laugh, laugh alot. 
  • Take more time for me. 
  • Be a better me. 

      #newyears #newyou

      Shadow. 

      Christmas is differant without you, as we all suspected it would be. While we all tell each other memories that makes us all laugh, there is a silence from us all as our hearts cry out but we promised we wouldnt make it about sadness.  You would love to see us all together laughing and telling stories, which you loved to observe. You always brought us all together. We cannot let your non physical presents keep us from coming together.  We have to noticed the shadow sitting beside us. Christmas like many other times will never be the same, but we will remain… together. 

      Tis the season.  

      With the school “break” starting in 2 days after my last exam, sitting here thinking about all the things I need to do this season for Christmas and get reading for next semester in January.Sure doesn’t sound like a very restfull break.

      Check list: 

      • Get textbooks for next semester
      • Get timetable for next semester 
      • Unorganize this semesters things 
      • Organize next semesters things 
      • CHRISTMAS shopping 
      • CHRISTMAS baking 
      • CHRISTMAS parties 
      • CHRISTMAS visiting 
      • CHRISTMAS everything else

      Just blasted the carols while doing everything the more festive it feels. With the tree up, decorated and lights around the house. Starting to feel like christmas.  

        Twisted

        My head is the only place you exist. 

        Maybe I am asking for effort that is impossible. 

        Maybe I can’t see clearly because you are standing in the way.  Nothing remains the same. 

        Show me something that I want to see, show me the effort, show me the future the way you want it to be. 

        Miss you Grump. xo

        Eyes Wide Open” by Sabrina 


        La di da da da na
        Yeah

        Everybody loves to tell me I was born an old soul
        Better keep my eyes wide open
        There’s so much that I don’t know
        Just another hotel room
        Never felt so all alone
        I think about my granddad’s eyes,
        And they always send me home
        I can almost hear him now
        Gotta make him proud

        I keep my eyes wide open
        Bless this ground, unbroken
        I’m about to make my way
        Heaven help me keep my faith
        And my eyes wide open

        I can’t see two steps ahead of me,
        When the fog comes rollin’ in
        I never thought I’d miss the rain
        Lord knows how long it’s been
        This dream burns inside of me,
        And I can’t just let it go
        There’s still so much that I don’t know

        I keep my eyes wide open
        Bless this ground, unbroken
        I’m about to make my way
        Heaven help me keep my faith
        And my eyes wide open

        All I have is just this moment
        I don’t want to miss a second
        ‘Cause it could all be gone in an instant
        Yeah, in an instant…

        I keep my eyes wide open
        Bless this ground, unbroken
        I’m about to make my way
        Heaven help me keep my faith
        And my eyes wide open

        I’m about to make my way
        Heaven help me keep my faith
        My eyes wide open